Country Music’s 10 Worst Pickup Lines
If you're looking for a new pickup line to add to your arsenal, look no further than country music. In terms of lyrics that could definitely be re-purposed to hit on someone, country is full of the good, the bad and the ugly.
So, maybe you should only try the good pickup lines out in real life -- but the bad and the ugly ones can be a lot of fun. Below, The Boot counts down our picks for country music's 10 worst pickup lines. Feel free to try them out the next time you go out ... but don't say we didn't warn you!
The Pickup Line: “Hey, girl / What’s your name, girl?"
It’s bland, but there’s nothing inherently terrible about opening with “Hey, girl, what’s your name?” However, the ubiquity of the Ryan Gosling “Hey girl” meme, the good-looking actor is pretty much synonymous with that phrase at this point -- and it's probably a bad idea to make someone you’re trying to hit on think of Ryan Gosling because then they’re going to realize that you are … well, not Ryan Gosling.
The Pickup Line: “I’m in love with you, baby / I don’t even know your name.”
Don't believe this one's a bad line to start with? The rest of this song will make you think otherwise. Its narrator accidentally marries a woman he didn’t mean to, can only refers to her as a waitress (because he never learned her name) and ends the song by yelling, “Get me out of here!”
The Pickup Line: “Romeo, Romeo, I want to be your Juliet.”
There are a few painful pickup lines in this song (“I may not be in love / But let me tell you, I’m in heat” is ... let's say bold), but the tune's entire premise is difficult overall. Knowing how the Shakespeare play goes, it’s hard to hear “I want to be your Juliet” and think it means anything other than “Let’s die tragically young.”
The Pickup Line: “Hey, cutie, where you from?"
This is another instance where the pickup line itself isn’t bad; in fact, “Hey, cutie, where you from?” is pretty standard. But no matter how inoffensive your pickup line, if it quickly leads to “Oh no! What have I done?” you’ve clearly made a miscalculation.
The Pickup Line: “Maybe I love you / Maybe I’m just kind of bored.”
Is it that bad of a pickup line? Not necessarily, but picture it in the context of, say, wedding vows (“Maybe I love you / Maybe I’m just kind of bored”), and you might get as depressed as someone being hit on with this line.
The Pickup Line: “My name is Shane / How do you like me so far?"
All of “Pickup Truck” is littered with cheesy pickup lines (“Are you from Tennessee, ‘cause baby / You’re the only 10 I see”), but it’s this initial one that is … impressively bad. “My name is Shane” is not a pickup line. It is the text from a name tag.
The Pickup Line: “I ain’t as good as I once was."
It’s hard to say what pickup artists might think of Keith’s self-deprecation here, but it seems as though it might be a bad strategy to lead off by telling someone that you aren’t all that great.
The Pickup Line: “You’re like a wreck out on the highway / I can’t look away, and I can’t pass through.”
We think we get what Bryan is going for here, but telling someone that they’re like a traffic accident that is blocking traffic and messing up people's commutes is just not the best way to hit on someone.
The Pickup Line: “Hold on tight / ‘Cause it’s gonna be wilder than any eight-second ride.”
Not to be crude, but lasting longer than eight seconds is a pretty low bar to clear. Bragging about it might send up red flags.
The Pickup Line: “I’d like to walk you through a field of wildflowers / And I’d like to check you for ticks.”
This line from “Ticks” is also featured on The Boot's list of country music's best pickup lines. That’s because any good pickup line is also, at its heart, a terrible pickup line. Paisley’s line in “Ticks” is so unbelievably, incomprehensibly bad, that it eventually turns over into something that’s almost good. Almost.