Five Things That Just Aren’t Cool Anymore

If you're under the age of 35, you are nodding your head right now. I was starting to think I was the only person who was starting to fall off the Facebook train, but now that people on Reddit are saying it, I feel pretty validated.

Honestly, the reason why Facebook is so uncool is because it's being used as a tool. People use it as a tool to promote themselves, bands use it as a tool to promote themselves, even businesses rely heavily on Facebook to brand themselves. The reason no one will see this extremely interesting list is because there are so many businesses posting things, so Facebook tries to hide certain posts to stop your news feed from being bombarded with things you don't care about - like a radio station's post about five things that just aren't cool anymore.

I can't even remember the last time I posted to Facebook. If I do throw up a picture or two, it's because my mom complains about how she doesn't know what's going on in my life, so I'll snap a picture of my dogs sleeping kinda cute-like and post it. Other than that, Facebook is just advertisements and pictures of people's babies.

If you push me in a pool, you are dead to me. And you owe me $400 for a new phone.

With everyone's phone attached to their hands at all times, it is definitely not cool to throw someone in the pool. It's pretty much the biggest d-bag move I can think of.

I know back in the day throwing people in pools was kinda cute and, I'm not gonna lie, I always had that idiotic dream that a cute boy would throw me in the pool and then it would turn into an epic romcom-esque kind of make out, but those dreams have been shattered now. Thanks a lot, iPhone.

Seriously, if someone pushed me in a pool, that would be the end of our friendship, because as much as I ranted about Facebook earlier, I cherish my fake social media life more than whatever real friendship we may have had.

Ur def not kewl if u still txt like this.

We have full blown keyboards now, people! It's not like you're sitting there tapping the 9 key on your phone four times just to type a "z". Stop being lazy and just type out "by the way" not "btw".

Ok, I have a confession. Sometimes I still use "bc" instead of typing out "because", but I cringe every time I do it.

Moral of the story: I am not cool, because sometimes I type "bc" when I text. Don't be like me.

I will not keep calm and carry on. I will not keep calm and listen to Justin Bieber. I will not keep calm and do anything.

Yeah, this was cool when it first happened. My hashtag was always #KeepCalmAndSomething, but once the t-shirts, coffee cups, and posters started popping up everywhere, the excitement of keeping calm and doing things faded away. Now if I see any "keep calm..." memorabilia, I roll my eyes.

As far as I'm concerned, "keep calm..." stuff is right up there with "live. laugh. love." stuff. Yes, I'm over the "live. laugh. love." stuff, too. Sorry.

Let's all just agree to silently "keep calm and live, laugh and love". The world would be a better place.

Wearing only one strap of your backpack was so cool back in the day that I owned a backpack that was made with only one strap. What in the world was I thinking?

Thank you to whoever decided two strapping it was cool again, because I would probably have some serious back issues if I continued one-strapping. Seriously, just you wait, millennials will be the generation that keeps chiropractors in business.

Let's get back to two-strapping, guys. Comfort over coolness, that's the key.