House Rules : The Law According To Dad
As we slide into the week before Father's Day let us remember some of the "advice" he gave us, usually at the top of his lungs, concerning the rules of the domicile. At my house my Dad was the king. My Mom actually ran the joint but she let my Dad believe he actually had a say so in how things were supposed to be.
Here are ten of the most common rules that most of us grew up with. The Daily Mail has an entire list of 50 if you are looking for suggestions to increase the power of your stranglehold on the power at your place.
1. No Shoes on the Couch - This went out the window when we got a dog and my Dad used to let the dog sit on the couch next to him. Still we were encouraged to not put shoes on the furniture.
2. Turn Off The TV - This was true especially if you weren't in the room to watch it. Back in the dark ages we only had three channels so when the soap operas came on we went outside and there was no remote control. The trip to turn off the TV was so difficult.
3. No Swearing - This was often violated by my Mom. She used to host a poker night at our place and I learned some of my best words just sitting in the next room. Who knew ladies were so passionate about penny ante.
4. Always Flush The Toilet - The problem was the plumbing in our house couldn't usually handle the volume of input from three growing boys. It wasn't uncommon to be greeted by, well you know, when you opened the lid of the commode.
5. Close the Door - This was usually followed by "I'm not paying to cool/heat the whole neighborhood". As a parent now I can understand the logic behind wanting to control the power bill and not wanting to give the neighbors too much of a financial advantage.
6. Put Your Dirty Clothes in the Hamper - Again I remind you we had three growing boys in our household. The threat of disease coming off underpants in our room was pretty great. I am sure nobody wanted to actually touch any of our stuff. The hamper was always a good idea.
7.Do Not Paint The Dog - Okay, this was a one time ruling but it stuck in my memory. Perhaps it did because I was the one who thought the dog might look good with a red racing stripe down his back. I realized the error of my ways during the days I was unable to sit down because of the discipline that was applied to my backside.
8.No Bicycles on The Roof - In truth we were probably the only family that had this rule in effect. It had to do with a challenge from my older brother who suggested that I could not ride my bike down the roof, be lifted into space by a ramp near the gutter, and fly gracefully to a picture perfect landing. Let's just say the picture was an X-ray.
I bet your Pop had some pretty good rules for you growing up too. I'd love to hear about them. Leave us a comment and we'll report back just how interesting your childhood was too.