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Kindergarten is usually a child's first foray into the socialized setting of attending school. It's a little more organized than nursery school and far more structured than a regular daycare. Kindergarten for a young person with an eager mind was the first step over the precipice of learning. 

It turns out the kindergarten is really a child's first lesson in the failings of mankind. It was for me anyway. Why do I blame kindergarten for my inability to trust my fellow man? It was in kindergarten that I was told things. Things that are simply not true. You want examples?  I've got examples.

 

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They told me cave men lived in caves. For the most part cave men did not live in caves. They usually slept out in the open. They were nomads. They only went into caves to draw on the walls. Much like today's high school student creates art work on the stall of a fast food bathroom. I bet they even listened to "rock" music.

 

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They told me that life in the middle ages was glamorous for princesses and people who lived in castles. Dear Disney most middle age castle dwellers lived in the modern equivalent of an outhouse. These people slept with animals and walked around in their own waste. Don't recall that being mentioned in any Cinderella story.

 

 

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They told me gum takes seven years to digest. I have swallowed gum and marked the day on the calendar. I have waited seven years to see what happened to the gum. I am a sick man with too much time on my hands. The fact is gum breaks down like any other food in your digestive system.

 

 

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They told me humans only have five senses. Well science has proven that we as a species have at least ten. Sure there is touch, taste, hearing, smell, and sight. That's what they want you to believe. What about a sense of balance? How about a sense of pain? How about a sense of time?  They never mentioned those and I probably use those more than I do my nose.

 

There are some more kindergarten lies that you need to give up. They are chronicled quite nicely in a story published by the Huffington Post. Their article was my inspiration for this piece so let's give credit where credit is due. At least they did teach me to tell the truth when I was in kindergarten and they did teach me to take a nap. I suppose I shouldn't whine.