For 11 years I loved watching Dr. Derek Shepherd and Meredith Grey's love unfold. Then in May my heart broke watching Meredith lose the love of her life in a horrendous car crash.  The loss of McDreamy is overwhelming, when I think of how Grey's Anatomy will be without him?  I was at a loss when Christina Yang left the show, how can we survive this? Shonda Rhimes, the writer/produce of Grey's Anatomy, says she had no other option.  She could have Derek walk out on Meredith (and totally lose respect for their 11-year love affair) or she could have him die.  Do I agree with her?  Maybe, I know I would be angry if Derek left; I was angry when he moved to D.C. and began working for the President, meeting the female researcher, and almost cheating on Meredith.  That would have been worse.  Let's analyze this, Meredith almost dies five times in 11 seasons; the gunman, the plane crash, the miscarriage that almost took her life?

I remember watching the pilot episode of Grey's Anatomy when Meredith and Derek met.  At a bar, not knowing who each was but, I saw the way they felt about each other in that first scene. He fell head over heels in love with her, before she realized how she felt.  And then in Season 3 she almost drowns and how Derek yells at Chief Richard Webber and Miranda Bailey to save her.  The raw emotion was so passionate, and so real.  I guess I refuse to believe Derek is really gone.

On September 24th season 12 of Grey's Anatomy premiers and  I will be on my couch, with a glass of wine and a tissue.  I have a feeling this season is going to be a tear jerker and a half.