Almost every year I have been on radio, I have had the pleasure of getting to go to Contraband Days at the Lake Charles Civic Center. And every year I have had my choice of a cornucopia of unique items to claim as my own, as you can tell from my collection of white trash rings! 

 

There are so many types to choose from and I won't claim any particular one as my favorite. I do have a certain style that I choose, or that I am offered. I have the Reptile style as you can see from the Dragon & Cobra rings:

Then I have the ones that just look fancy and when I have someone that I want to impress with my white trashiness:

And of course, you can never go wrong with the good old reliable skulls, white trashiness at its best!

But there is so much out there that I wish some of the vendors of Contraband Days would sell. Things that would top even the trashiest of the white trash rings! Such as....

...glow in the dark jeans,

 

Lace-up Boots,

 

The chest hair tie,

The ever-handy credit card knife,

 

and fancy white trash champagne glasses!

 

But nothing will ever fill the void that lays in my heart until I am able to find the one item that will not only bring smiles to faces and deep repressed disgust to the pits of stomachs. The item that you know 200 years from now will still be displayed on mantles of the future. The one thing that is more mysterious than the Ark of the Covenat,

The Chunk With Antlers Dinnerware Set!

 

I KNOW, RIGHT???