Erin’s Kung Fu Moves Using A Public Bathroom.
I am a Karate expert every time I use a public bathroom. My Bruce Lee moves come out, like everyone was Kung Fu Fighting and I am the only winner. Tiny stalls, gross toilet handles, automatic faucets and soap dispensers? Not to mention I am NOT sitting on that toilet. It is like an Olympic game getting in and out the women's restroom in one piece.
This is my restroom experience: walk in the stall, gingerly turning around to lock the door. Pull pants down and do a sumo wrestler squat over the toilet while one hand holds your pants and the other is braced on the door/wall to balance. Go pee, then wipe without touching the seat. Get yourself together and turn around to push the toilet lever with your foot. Yep, ladies....use the foot. I have mastered this move.
Saturday, at the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans, I unlocked the door with a piece of toilet paper and walked to the sink and just stared for a moment. Do I touch the handle of the faucet? Do I wave my hands under/over/near it hoping it drops water? And, don't get me started on the automatic soap dispense. I placed my hands under the disperser and the soap landed on the vanity and not in my hand. Then, the faucet would not start. I waved under it, over it, touched it, yelled at it, and finally realized I had to lift the lever. Yep, sink=1; Erin=0.
What about tipping the bathroom attendants even when the soap and sink are automatic? What if they just hand you a paper towel after you washed your hands? I did tip $1 at a bar this weekend, mainly because I felt bad she had to stand in the bathroom all night with a bunch of inebriated woman (and I had the fish...didn't sit well). Seriously, when did going to the bathroom become such an ordeal? The expectation to be perfect is just too much. I just want to pee and be done.