Hurricane season is upon us once again, so it's important to remember the five stages of grief everyone on the Gulf Coast goes through whenever a storm is headed our way. It doesn't matter if it's a tropical storm or a full-blown category 5 hurricane, it's always the same. We go from Denial to Acceptance in 3.5 drive-thru daiquiris.


 

DENIAL

 

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"Nah, that ain't gonna hit us."

 

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"There's no way it's coming here."

 

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"Well, crap..."


 

ANGER

 

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"Stupid weatherman! They're never right! They kept saying it wasn't gonna hit us!"

 

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"Why does everyone have to go to the store at the same time?!"

 

Bruce Mikells

"WOULD IT KILL YOU TO OPEN UP MORE CHECKOUT LANES, WALMART?!"


 

BARGAINING

 

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"Hey, boss. I know you want everyone to come in, but there's a storm coming..."

 

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"Yeah, ok, but what if I just work half a day and then maybe..."

 

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"Well, I guess I could always borrow my cousin's pirogue."


 

DEPRESSION

 

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"What do you mean I should've charged my phone last night?!"

 

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"Well, there goes my battery. What did people even do before cell phones? This is the worst!"

 

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"WHAT ARE BOOKS?!"


ACCEPTANCE

 

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"Boss made me go to work, but I flooded out my car, which is fine. Imma just sit here and watch Netflix while my phone charges."