Usually putting up the tree at my house means family fun. We munch on cookies and drink Eggnog while we put the decorations on the tree and it's perfect. This year that part went as planned. The story is what happened before and after our little Christmas tradition.

Don Rivers

It all started with my wife and I deciding on a smaller tree this year. You know who made that decision. Men never downsize! The first problem was that the tree was to big for our stand. I twisted the adjustment screws all the way and they were not touching the tree. I decided a little Don Rivers engineering was in order. I went to the woodpile to see if I could find a few little chips to use as wedges. That's where the trouble continued. I decided I was one wood chip short and needed to chop one off of a piece of firewood. That's when I found out that Nike tennis shoes offer no protection from an axe. I just went to chop it quickly and did not spread my feet apart correctly. The axe glanced off the piece of firewood and just so happened to find my foot. I took off my shoe to see my sock already turning red. The good news is that it was just a small cut and I would later develop a nice bruise. I finished attempting to level the Christmas tree (after a little time out to stop the bleeding.) All seemed well as we decorated the tree. That changed the next morning when the tree fell on my wife. I decided we would have to get a smaller stand and I went to the hardware store when I got off work. I decided instead oif getting a new stand I would just get longer screws for the stand we already have and it worked. The rest of the week flew by without either of us having time to work on fixing the decorations. My wife worked on it yesterday morning and here are the results. The tree and Christmas decorations are finally up. I'm going to start Christmas cooking now. Will someone notify the ER?