Two Times Nudity Wasn’t The Right Approach
The great philosopher of life Jeff Foxworthy once suggested in one of his stand up routines that there is a difference between being naked and being nekkid. Naked implies the person in question is not wearing any clothes. Nekkid implies the person in question is not wearing any clothes and is up to something.
Here are two cases where the latter, nekkid, might apply.
A 22 year-old Florida man thought it might be romantic to propose to his girlfriend on her porch. He wanted to make the event special and since he didn't have a Jumbtron at a sporting event he opted for a simpler yet more intimate approach.
He thought he would arrive at his beloved's home in the middle of the night stark naked. The only problem with his plan was he went to the wrong house. Imagine the neighbor's surprise when they opened the door to a naked stranger on their porch.
The police were called and as you might expect this did not end well.
Our second story of nudity not working out happened in Tennessee. A 54 year gentleman there answered a knock on his door in the middle of the afternoon. A rather attractive young woman asked if she could swim in his backyard pool. It seemed like an odd request.
Then the request got even stranger when she suggested that she wanted to swim in the nude. Well that was all it took to get the homeowner off the fence. He escorted the young lady through his home and to the pool.
She removed her clothing and swam for a good twenty minutes while the homeowner watched. Obviously there needed to be a life guard on duty right? Here's where the bad decision of this story comes in.
While the young woman was keeping the attention of the homeowner her male accomplice walked into the unlocked home and robbed the place. The woman finished swimming, got dressed, and left. That's when the homeowner noticed about $1,200 worth of jewelry, guns, and other items missing from his home.
If there is a moral to this story I guess it's this. Keep your clothes on when you propose marriage and if a rather attractive individual comes to your home and wants to swim naked in your pool be sure and put away your valuables.