In the lists of life's greater disappointments, I would have to place snow right up there with some of life's most suck the wind out of your sails moments. There are a lot of people that "love snow". There is a word for those people, that word is a liar.

Snow in real life is a lot different than the kind of snow you see adding ambience to a scene on a Lifetime Christmas Movie. Snow in real life sucks. It causes people to crash their cars. It causes people to pay extra to heat their homes. It conceals dog poop in the yard so when you fall down in it you don't realize it until the offending material has had a chance to thaw on your clothes inside the house.

Still every year about this time somebody in my inner circle will utter these words "I wish we could have a white Christmas". Well, keep rubbin' on that lamp Alladin because it's going to take the magic of a genie and maybe a moon rock autographed by Neil Armstrong to make that happen in South Louisiana.

@klfy via Twitter

That snap above is from when the Basin Bridge iced over around Mardi Gras last year. So it can get cold and it can get icy. But remember that's Mardi Gras time and not Christmastime.

Now, just to be clear I am not saying residents who live along and south of I-10 in Louisiana won't have snow on the ground on December 25th. I am simply stating that the chances of that happening are about the same as Ed Orgeron replacing Nick Saban at Alabama before the Auburn game this year.

Aditya Vyas Via

It ain't gonna happen.

The National Weather Service defines a white Christmas "as having 1 inch or more of snow on the ground on Christmas morning". Now, if you couple that with the climatological data from the same government agency which states the average annual snowfall in Louisiana is only .20 inches, you can see why I am pretty confident in my prediction that new bikes will have mud on the tires and not accumulated snow.

Officially the National Weather Service lists the chances of a white Christmas in all of Louisiana at less than 10%. The further south you go, I am sure that percentage gets smaller. But most of the Gulf South falls into that 10% or less chance.

One of the reasons why we don't have a great chance of a white Christmas is because December is too early for snow in this part of the country. We don't usually get our coldest winter weather of the season until January. This means there is a better chance of a white Martin Luther King Day than there is a white Christmas at least in Louisiana. That's not a racial statement, that's reality.

So for everyone who is getting a sled and some snowshoes from Santa along I-10 in Louisiana this year you can probably begin your post-Christmas disappointment early. Maybe you can use the snowshoes to practice your tennis game and the sled, well we'll always have mud and that slides almost as good as snow and you don't have to worry about frozen piles of dog poop.

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