The boss is out of town, and let's face it -- the news is depressing. So instead of doing my normal top-of-the-hour newscast, I decided to tell you the real story behind Santa Claus. It's absolutely true, put together from minutes of painstaking research on, I think, Buzzfeed. So, you know you can trust it.
We love Santa. We really do! He's probably the coolest old guy we know, spending his life making presents, managing elves and eating cookies. Truth be told, we're sort of jealous. The jolly old guy usually looks bright and cheery and not all that scary, which is yet another reason we're fans.