Yep, you read it right. One time only. It's not that I can't cook. I can make gumbo, rice and gravy, jambalaya, and everything else I put my mind to. Also, it's not that I cant boil crawfish. The one time I did it, I was fairly successful. Now, for the story.

My first Good Friday off in easily ten years. I was at a close friend's house as they were partying. Music was playing and everyone was dancing and having a good time. The "Uncles" were boiling the crawfish off to the side and apparently, you NEVER interrupt them nor offer to help them.

David Lee

As the night progressed, the Uncles were partying right along with the rest of us. They had eight sacks of crawfish to boil for the day. (Sidenote: Never ask a friend's family where they got that much crawfish on Good Friday.) By the last sack of crawfish, the uninterrupted Uncles were a big "sluggish" from the day of partying, as was everyone else. Next thing I know, they had left their post and gone inside.

"Who's gonna boil this last sack?" was the giant question for the evening, although a bit slurred. I popped up and said, "I got this, watch out!"

Now, dear reader, I can operate a propane burner just as good as the next coonass. I've done gumbos in giant pots numerous times. The questions began to run through my mind, how long, how much, seasoning amount, water? The pressure was on. I snuck over to the "bar area" we had set up for a bit of courage and popped my phone out right fast.

"How to boil crawfish" was the topic. FYI, everyone has their own way to boil and there was no consistency in the actual time to boil. I went with bringing the water to a boil (luckily the water was already seasoned), throwing them in, letting it come up to a boil and rolling them for five minutes before turning the heat off. I was flipping the lid and making random noises as I would bang the spoon against the pot, just trying to make it seem like I knew what I was doing (fake it till you make it).

getty images/ Spencer Platt

It was time to pull them out and dump them into the ice chest. I made a big move with the lid as the steam came up and dumped those beautiful bugs into the giant ice chest. I cracked open some more seasoning, then shut the lid back on them to "let them steam." I dunno if that's a thing, but I've heard people say that before.

Ten minutes later, it was time to see if my Google tip was going to pay off. I watched as the families dug into the tails. The questions started to come.

"How long have you been boiling crawfish?"
"Did your Dad teach you how to do it?".

If I were a peacock, I would have been in full bloom!

In short, never be afraid to try something you've never done before. Also, always have Google close by.