Did you know Louisiana has its own school of witchcraft and wizardry? Probably not, because it’s a closely guarded secret we just invented. Like Hogwarts, it has four houses. Find out which one you belong to!

Our version of Hogwarts here in the Bayou State is called Bogwarts. You've probably never noticed it before because it’s hidden deep inside the Atchafalaya and protected by all sorts of voodoo charms and mystical warding. If you’re interested in attending, you’ll need to be sorted into your house first, though. While Hogwarts has a fancy talking Sorting Hat that comes alive whenever it's placed on a new student’s head, Bogwarts makes due with a ratty old hard hat from Remy’s cousin who works construction sometimes.

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Don’t judge.

(If you don’t know your Hogwarts house, you can head over to Pottermore and take this quiz. It’ll tell you which boring old Hogwarts house you’d be sorted into, but that place is all the way in Scotland. Why travel abroad from Platform 9 3/4 when you could just hop on Norbert's pirogue?

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    Hogwarts: Gryffindor

    Founded by Clebert LeBlanc, this house is known for its bravery and nerves of steel. Of course, it’s easy to be brave when you aren’t afraid of anything, which is why its emblematic animal is the Alligator. Anyone who’s spent any time in the swamp knows that the gator is the king of the bayou, not only because it can kill most anything that gets in its way, but also because it just doesn’t care. About anything. Gators do what they want when they want, and they don’t concern themselves with what anyone else thinks. However, they typically only kill to eat, and will pretty much leave you alone as long as you’re not bothering them, which is what passes for chivalry in the swamp. But poke a stick at one, and…well, let’s just say they’ll be picking pieces of your skeleton out of gator poo like they're setting up some kind of dinosaur exhibit at the Lafayette Science Museum. LeBlancindor is associated with the power of Humidity, which is why they're basically everywhere, all the time.

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    Hogwarts: Hufflepuff

    Thibblepuff was founded by Boudreaux Thibodeaux, who was known to his friends as one of the the nicest, most patient pals anyone could ever have. He was also kinda slow, but nobody really held that against him. Thibblepuff’s emblematic animal is the Crawfish, which is a creature that tends to stick together in times of crisis. We know this due to the fact that they often come served on giant platters - a testament to mudbug loyalty, as they all went in the pot together, and they all came out together. Thibblepuffs might not make the brightest or most skilled wizards, but they make great shields on account of how they like to bunch up together whenever the Avada Kedavras start flying. They’re often associated with Bog Mud, which is where you’ll find them whenever they’re not busy being boiled with corn and potatoes.

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    Hogwarts: Ravenclaw

    Cora Melancon founded Melanclaw after she had to make her own friends because nobody likes that one kid in the class who keeps raising her hand at the end of school to remind the teacher she forgot to assign homework. Known for their intelligence and quick wit, the Melanclaw’s emblematic animal is the squirrel - which might not seem like much at first, but have you ever tried to keep one of the little rodents out of a bird feeder? It can’t be done! Like squirrels, Melanclaws are constantly analyzing everything, even as they dart around like the terrified woodland creatures they are. Left alone, their intelligence can take them pretty far, but when faced with an overwhelming physical force (which is pretty much any physical force), they tend to either retreat or get turned into dinner, which is why squirrel head gumbo is a thing that people eat. Melanclaw is associated with the emotion of Fear, since they tend to be afraid of almost everything. Still, they're usually smart enough to escape most of the mystical traps and occult conjurings that dark wizards use to try and ensnare them. So there’s that.

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    Hogwarts: Slytherin

    Generally known as the evil house, Slythidry gets a bad rap. Sure, it was founded by Anna Lee Guidry, who wizarding history remembers as one of the most manipulative and cunning witches to ever wave a crooked wand, but that doesn’t mean every member of Slythidry goes bad. Some just value ambition and resourcefulness, which can be positive traits as long as nobody stands in their way. Their emblematic animal is the blood-sucking Mosquito, which, sure, carries things like malaria and the west nile virus, but it’s important to remember all the good things mosquitos bring to the world. Like, um. Well. Okay, hang on. Uh, I guess you don’t tend to feel it when they bite you, which is pretty nice of them. Of course, it just makes it easier for a Slythidry to slip the knife in your back if they’re smiling at you the whole time, but seriously. There has to be one good thing about mosquitos, but since the wizarding science is still out on that, let’s move on. Slythidry is associated with Vampirism and, oh come on! Seriously?! Fine. If you get sorted into this house, go ahead and grow a mustache as soon as possible. You’ll need something to twirl at meetings of the evil council as you plot to take over the world.