Obviously, my personality is a combo of my mother and father. My wit is from my mom, but the cheese factor of the jokes? Well, that's dad through and through. Mom would tell me she'd throw him a zinger and he wouldn't come back with anything until the next day. Hence, one of his most famous catchphrases, "I'm slow but I'm cute."


Dad jokes are almost as popular as bacon these days. They make people chuckle, groan, and maybe let out a snort. Growing up in a family of sarcasm and one-liners, we laughed a lot. His dad jokes, however, were always on point.

1. Just think how good it's going to feel when it stops hurting (when you hurt anything on your body)

2. Well, build a bridge and get over it son.

3. (When seemingly concerned with my well being) "Dad, my head hurts." "Well, does your face hurt? Cause it's killing me."


4. "Dad, can I have a Capri Sun"..."I don't know, can you?"

5. "Hi, I'm Stephanie and I'll be your server for the evening" (the poor wait staff never know what was coming next) "Hi Stephanie, we are the Conrads and we will be your eaters for the evening."

6. You have a question? I have an answer, let's see if they fit!

7. No, really take your time, but hurry up doing it.

8. EVERY time I would mess up in front of a group of people. "You buy them books, you send them to school, and look what happens."


9. When telling him a story and you forget where you were. "I don't know, it's your story."

10. If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.

One final line that he always went to. "Oh Dave, it was good to see you... Well, it was good to be seen."

The man, the myth, the legend. Although I don't have kids, I use these lines on a daily basis. Maybe you don't have to be a dad to drop a dad joke. So far, I have never been punched in the throat after delivering them. To all of the dads out there. Happy Father's Day! To the man that "taught me everything I know" (yea, that's another line), love you Pop!





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